Who are you accountable to?...a lengthy rant.

I wrote this for the Genesis Transformation newsletter this past fall. I re-read it last night and it it seemed fitting for heading into 2010......

Recently, as I was out on a run, I realized my 39th birthday was approaching and my birthday happens to coincide with my first anniversary in the Genesis Program. Naturally I spent the remainder of my run reminiscing, keeping my heart rate in check, of course, about the last year. Let me provide a little background information. My family and I live in the Flathead Valley so I had been watching people “transform” with admiration and amazement. While I was deeply intrigued, I outwardly shunned the program. After years of obsessions with food and fanatical exercise, (20-30 mile runs in Glacier Park for example) I swore that I would never spend that much time thinking about food. Of course my aversion to GT did not prevent me from pestering Sheri INCESSANTLY each time I saw her. At this time I was also struggling with my career path and feeling generally lost. I learned of the opportunity to train to become a Genesis Coach, I realized I already spent that much time thinking about my food and it “clicked.” Jamie and Samantha convinced Sheri that I was really not as irritating I had come across and my transformation began.
As I look back over the last year, I realize the list of “if you had told me I would be…” is pretty long. There are the easy ones, I eat eggs, avocados, salmon and tomatoes, all things I swore would never go into my body. I stopped eating cookies by the dozen and drinking red wine. I quit running for weeks; and strangely enough, lost weight, body fat and increased my lean muscle mass! I proudly had my picture taken in a swimming suit. I got certified as a personal trainer and a Genesis Coach. I could go on and on.
The lessons I have learned are immeasurable. As promised, I have received an education in my body that is immense; often times I feel I have learned much more than I wish to know, but each piece is fascinating. I have learned that I am accountable for my destiny, every path I take, whether it is binging on a bag of cherries, skipping a workout or ignoring my responsibilities. I am accountable for my successes as well and often times it is just a simple choice to believe in myself. I am learning to speak my truths, it is far more effective. I am also learning that each day is a new lesson.
What really stands out as I reflect on the last year are the fundamental changes that have occurred in my life. I have become accountable for all the aspects in my life. Not only is every bite that goes into my mouth consciously accounted for, I am aware of the role accountability plays in the rest of my life. I see how my past desire to avoid conflict and make those around me happy, ultimately let everyone down. I realize that I don’t play a role in the happiness of others. I am responsible for myself. Clearing my mind of the fanatical need for exercise after 14 molasses cookies and all the other diet and body image clutter made room for me to recognize my limits, needs, desires, strengths and weaknesses and improve my confidence.
The funny thing, becoming accountable for myself became so much larger than just me. I no longer make promises that are impossible to keep, I say “no” a lot. The ability to bow out of situations means that my family and I are off some of the “call lists” but we sit at the table for a great dinner every night and our family has become a solid unit. My newly acquired confidence has allowed me to find a career path that is exciting and makes me grateful everyday for the opportunities in front of me. I now know that I have a wealth of strengths that are not only physical. I have a lot of work ahead of me in regards to my weaknesses, but I am aware of them, I am facing them, some reluctantly, and I am excited to address, learn and grow.
Don’t get me wrong, yes, my head is mostly clear, my family is amazing and my body is strong, this last year has also been hard. Through the Genesis process we uncover the amazing people that we are. We give ourselves the priceless gift of health but there is a lot to let go of. I let go of molasses cookies, birthday cake with my kids, RUNNING every day, the person I was a year ago. For so many of us GT’ers as we shed weight and fat, we become a different person and it is hard to let go of the habits and beliefs that got us to where we are. Sometimes I miss my insecurities, they kept me safe. I have come so far, reached my goal of becoming a GT coach and trainer, improved my overall health and opened my mind and I don’t have the time to be insecure, but a year ago I was not faced with the need to stand up and SHOUT, make myself known and truly believe that I ROCK, I AM STRONG, SMART AND READY TO CHARGE MY LIFE. That’s the thing about the Genesis Transformation process; every one of us on this journey, no matter where we started or where we are headed, is AMAZING! We are smart and we are strong and we are charging our lives! So, be grateful to the person who brought you to where you are, embrace the person who is guiding you on, and make sure to enjoy the ride!

If you have already seen this rant, thanks for reading it. Perhaps you will find something new, I was reminded of a few areas to focus on. Take a few minutes to check out the Genesis Transformation web site, www.genesistransformation.com, there is a wealth of information and it is an amazing health based fat loss program, individually designed to help each person achieve their health goals.